This is how couples re-ignite the intimacy and passion in their relationship without counselling or therapy

When you think of a “successful” marriage, what do you think of? Is it a safe and secure base to raise a family? Is it a playful and passionate partnership where you never tire of spending time with and expressing love to your spouse? Is it an intimate relationship that comforts and nurtures you? Or… is it simply one that doesn’t end up in divorce?

Here’s what I see going on in the world: too many of us are stuck in marriages without relationships.

Things are going okay...

Things are going okay. It’s not terrible or abusive, and we’re not Googling divorce lawyers… but at the same time, this “meh” feeling is driving us crazy.

We feel stuck and frustrated...

We feel stuck and frustrated – because the same disagreements and the same problems seem to come up over and over again.

We feel isolated...

We feel isolated and disconnected from our spouse – and end up avoiding them, even though we live in the same house.

We feel guilty and ashamed...

We feel guilty and ashamed and we want to do something about this, but nothing we try has worked. And then the doubt creeps in… are WE the problem in our relationship?


The worst part is that it’s hard to talk about. It’s not like we don’t love our spouse or want to be with them.  It’s not like we want to cut and run.

Our marriage is functional
but not fulfilling.

So we are caught between a rock and a hard place.

It’s continuing to shamble along like a pale imitation with only a fraction of the life it once had

The Matter of Mediocrity

Human beings are the most ambitious and adaptable species on the planet. That’s why we go to the moon while most birds haven’t yet figured out what ‘glass’ is. But this ingenuity comes with a downside – complacency. When we have something, we stop trying to maintain it. We assume it’ll last forever. Once we did the work to get it, it’ll be there when we need it. To put it simply: we take it for granted.

That’s how the amazing, wonderful, terrific relationship you started with ends up as a mediocre marriage.

Because in the smallest moments, you (and your partner) took each other for granted.

Maybe it was the…

date nights becoming less and less frequent…

hobbies you used to enjoy together becoming separate activities…

moments of physical affection that got further and further apart…

How every couple ends up there is different, but the result is the same: a sad & glum marriage

Us Versus Them

And when our marriage ends up like that, we start looking to assign blame. We blame our partner. What happened to them? Why did they turn into someone different than the person we married? What happened to the vows they made on our wedding day?

If only they…

were more present, we could be intimate again.

were more proactive, we would feel cared for again.

held up their end of the marriage so we could relax again.

When we aren’t blaming them, we’re blaming ourselves. We know we’re not perfect, and we agonize over our mistakes – because we recognize that our marriage needs work, and we want to be perfect so we can “fix” it.

But nobody’s perfect. And that’s what makes those little moments when we snap all the worse. We’re stewing over who’s to blame, keeping score, and agonizing over our own pain… which is just compounding the problem.

“…but nobody’s perfect…”

That’s what makes those little moments when we snap all the worse. We’re stewing over who’s to blame, keeping score, and agonizing over our own pain… which is just compounding the problem.

We’re stewing over who’s to blame

Keeping score & agonizing in pain

Which is compounding the problem

Our hearts are frozen and we’re stuck in our heads

The Real Problem

The truth is that you are still you. Your spouse is still your spouse. You still have a beautiful and magical connection. You just lost sight of it. And the key to living the passionate and intimate marriage you want isn’t the creation of anything new, but the transformation of what already exists. Because while the relationship counsellors and self-help books out there are telling you that you’re wrong, or he’s wrong, or she’s wrong, or you’re both wrong, and just come along with us and we’ll fix you right up…

“…the transformation of what already exists…”

The changes they recommend never last. Why?

Because they’re trying to make you or your partner into someone else.
They try to “fix” your relationship by “fixing” you.

While you may make some progress in your relationship, or you have a few months where you feel like newlyweds again…soon enough you end up right back where you started – disconnected, isolated, and unhappy.

A Change That Lasts

Spending your life trapped in a marriage like that – well, to be frank, it sucks.

I would rather you…

treasure every small moment you spend with your partner.

have to hold yourself back from flirting with them at every opportunity.

miss them so much when they leave the house that you wrap yourself around them like a cat when they get back.

and your partner become one of those old couples that amaze everyone by being married (and still in love!) for so long.

nurture a bond with your partner to be so joyful and fun that even your kids notice.

And I truly believe you would rather want that too

So how do you have a relationship you feel great about? How do you fall in love and stay in love – and keep all the passion, intimacy, and romance that make love fun? And how do you get everything you need out of your relationship without changing anything about your partner?

It Starts with you…



At some point, your expectation and your reality went separate ways. And that is why you’re suffering. You want something from your relationship or from your partner that you think you aren’t getting. And to collapse your suffering, you need to look at where your relationship is giving you exactly what you want – and more.

That’s exactly what I’ll help you do in Re-ignite:
A 12-Week Relationship Immersion for Couples

Your 84 Day Road Map

When you sign up for Re-ignite, we’re going to help you totally transform your perspective on your relationship. You’re going to receive a series of video learning modules along with weekly group coaching to help you rediscover the magic of your relationship.

We’re also going to give you access to our clients-only Facebook group so you can get additional support and accountability from our community.

And this is what turns the education into transformation.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to teach yourself anything, but…

It’s easy to get lost or to not understand the nuances of what you’re learning. And when that happens, well, you might understand half of what that content is trying to teach you.

That won’t happen with this program. The support structures we’ve set up mean that anytime you run into a concept you don’t fully understand, you can get the clarifications you need to get the full value out of our lessons.

That’s why I can confidently stand behind the result this program promises: more intimacy, more passion, and more fun in your relationship.

If you’re ready to join us, then click the button below to sign up!

Real Methods & Proven Results

You’ve heard that it takes two to tango. A relationship is no different. And you might be wondering if it’s possible to improve your marriage even if your spouse isn’t in this program.

That said, you don’t need to worry. You can still get the full benefit of our education and coaching alone.

As I wrote above, the core of Re-ignite is shifting your perspective. And the result of that shift is what creates the transformation in your relationship.

You can have deeper intimacy, more passion, and so much more joy without your partner having to do anything different – that happens naturally when you show up with a new mindset.

Ready to get started?

About Dr. Steve

Dr. Steven Fonso is a holistic doctor and owner-operator of Veressent Life. This practice guides people to their ultimate focus; a life dedicated to living in one’s authentic, core nature.

Through this lens he helps his clients build beautiful lives that they love – with vibrant marriages, stable family lives, and secure relationships.

He is also the author of Finding Magic in the Mess, which teaches people about living in presence, connection, gratitude, love and unity.

Dr. Fonso now is creating an online business and community to support the essence of his work with a special emphasis on personal and relationship mastery, as well as strategies to maximize the wellness of the family dynamic.

He lives with his beautiful and loving wife, Lea, and three adorable children, Maiah, Logan and Hannah in Thunder Bay, Canada.


Because they don't happen by accident.

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