Why You Unconsciously Don’t Want Support

Who doesn’t love being supported? 

Well, from my clinical experience, everyone consciously wants to be supported. Except when I start asking them questions to reveal unconsciously why they don’t want it:

  1. It limits your flexibility and independence
  2. It takes up too much time
  3. You feel obligated to them
  4. You feel indebted to them
  5. You have to walk on eggshells to not offend
  6. It doesn’t allow you to grow
  7. You feel stifled
  8. You feel treated like a child
  9. You want to do your own thing…to name a few…

Nearly everyone I work with is infatuated with being supported. (consciously) 

Nearly everyone I work with is resentful that someone in their life didn’t support them the way they expected. (consciously) 

Nearly everyone I work with feels alone the moment they aren’t supported, which creates suffering. (consciously)

There are times when you seek support. Yet the catch is too much support creates a lack of freedom, psychological debt, boredom, burnout, juvenile dependencies, and general ignorance.

When you are addicted to praise and support, you will unconsciously attract criticism and challenge, to keep you balanced and growing. The problem with this addiction, is you will resent the challenge because you expect only praise and support, and only see the value in that side of the experience. You consciously criticize them for their lack of support, which is fascinating because you are challenging them, for their lack of support. LOL. Funny isn’t it?  This is why I wrote 1) through 9) to show you there are drawbacks to the one-sided support, so you may be able to let go of a one sided desire, and accept that you actually want both support and challenge.   

So what do we do about it? 

Focus on what YOU really want. Focus on what you REALLY WANT FIRST.

Then see if anyone is required to assist you. 

If others are required, then surround yourself with inspired people that aren’t just there to give you praise, but are also there to STRATEGICALLY give you sound criticism and challenge as needed.

This way you get what you want, and you invite the praise and criticism in your pursuit of what you are really after. 

That may be an equation for true spiritual happiness.